Staring at it angrily, day after day (a work of fiction)

staring at it angrily, day after day. Collar getting hotter, blood pressure higher you break out in an angry sweat. Suddenly, a mosquito bites your arm out of nowhere and you fly into a KILLING RAGE! oh wait - edit! before your killing rage engulfs your brain one last thought twitches through your subconscious. Your fingers move almost of their own volition as your body slowly lumbers out of its chair to begin a reign of terror, slowly twitching - AFK.

grabbing the nearest stapler you run into the lunchroom, screaming unintelligibly - spittle flying everywhere, mad eyes seeing nothing.

blood spurts in tiny drops from your own arms as random staples land and embed themselves into your skin. gulping ragged breath into your lungs, your incoherent screams "Awrraryyawwarryrrrarrrr" betray your Wookie heritage.

-- and then -- you're down!

a leg from nowhere pops out behind the wall tripping you and preventing you from so much as hurting the plants... a coffee cup (tea cup) shatters on the floor unnoticed as you slowly stand, yourself again.

as you look down and see your bleeding arms and broken nutcup, you wonder why you're not coding Io---- crap at your desk and ask aloud "Where's that from?"

You're down again! a strangling pair of hands surrounds your neck, and shards of ceramic embed themselves into your spikes and scalp.

slowly, you stand again and, feeling your head, proudly proclaim "Look what I picked up!"

And you're down again! This time an average asian has tackled your legs while an angry bearded wonder hits you about the head and face with a bent Xwing. strobing Flashes of light from the doorway reveal that this Battle! is being stop-motioned.

as you lay in a pool of your own blood and ceramic, you notice burnt bits of cheese stuck to the floor and decide to keep your fucking mouth shut

you slink back to your desk and never complain about paypal, Io----, or mosquitoes again.

Is it Friday? Feels like Friday. hahaha

Red October Jokes

Sean Connery came round my house to put some shelves up. They weren't level, so all my ornaments fell off. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said...... "I'm ashamed of my shelf".

Sean Connery gets a call from his agent one day. The agent goes, "Sean, I've got you a job - starts tomorrow, early. You'll have to be there for 10-ish".
Sean furrows his brow and says "Tennish? but I don't even have a racquet."

En Francais: Sean Connery almost married Aretha Franklin. She would have taken his name. "arrete ta connerie"

Sean Connery loves trig. His favorite functions are shine and coshine. (Coshine-play)

SEAN CONNERY SAYS "YOU ARE READING THIS ... IN MY VOICE"

(all brought to you courtesy of Reddit)

Yoda, the Vampire Slayer

10 Things You Didn't Know About The Empire Strikes Back

Coffee Table Books Strike Back with Empire: The Making Of

Vanity Fair preview of new coffee-table book, The Making of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. Some great photos.



"Luke, there is no escape, only mattresses" "That's......highly unlikely!"

Tron Legacy dual-monitor desktop wallpaper in action

As expected and planned, rocking some Tron Legacy desktop wallpaper featuring Miss Olivia Wilde (not the pic of just her though..that other one floating around was too...distracting.)

Downloads!
(updated 11/10/2010)
You know you want it.  Here's some downloads for widescreen or dual-monitor setups:

...Left Monitor: 1280x1024  ...Right monitor: 1280x1024