Sean Connery came round my house to put some shelves up. They weren't level, so all my ornaments fell off. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said...... "I'm ashamed of my shelf".
Sean Connery gets a call from his agent one day. The agent goes, "Sean, I've got you a job - starts tomorrow, early. You'll have to be there for 10-ish".
Sean furrows his brow and says "Tennish? but I don't even have a racquet."
En Francais: Sean Connery almost married Aretha Franklin. She would have taken his name. "arrete ta connerie"
Sean Connery loves trig. His favorite functions are shine and coshine. (Coshine-play)
SEAN CONNERY SAYS "YOU ARE READING THIS ... IN MY VOICE"
(all brought to you courtesy of Reddit)